Beerorkid – a bunch of useless crap |




so cornbread tagged me.

So I gotta tell ya 6 things you might not know about me. This is gonna be really hard since I am missing the gene that makes you not say embarrassing things and I like the attention of being embarrassed so it happens often. I am sure you all know my political / religious views, that I love to pick my nose, masturbate, and have a severe obsession with boobies. I am gonna delve deep into my neither regions here.

+ In 5th grade I pooped my pants twice over the span of the school year. Apparently I am missing the gene that lets you know if it is a fart or not 😉 I was ashamed and did not want to tell my mommy so I hid the poopie tighty whities behind my water bed. About a year later my mom found them and had the “it is OK to poop your pants” talk with me.

+ I was raised in a circus family. Well kinda. Growing up my Dad was fricking awesome (still purdy cool). We had a pinball machine, ping pong table, and even an air hockey machine. He would take me to the video arcades all the time. We were regulars at sluggo’s in east park and during the kid weekend thing they had every year my dad met a Juggler. Talked with him a bit and my dad was hooked. I was having fun learning how to juggle scarves, bags, balls, rings, clubs, and even mastered the flaming torches. We were added as entertainers at the east park kid weekend for the next few years. My bro was in on it too.
We performed together at many different places, old folks homes, B-day parties, schools and for family and friends. We got into magic tricks and silly gags, kinda like carrot top, but we had actual talent 😉 I rocked every talent show I had ever entered.
Ask me to juggle something next time you see me.
Oh and that juggler my dad met eventualy became the Ronald McDonald for the region.
a vid of me embarassing my self at the childrens museum adult night

+ I am a lazy slob. not in the personal hygiene category, but in my living / working areas. my computer desk is horrifically covered in junk, I leave clothes lying around, my garage is huge but only one car fits in it. It is filled with just trash. I toss junk out of my car onto the pile. I just do not feel like cleaning it up. I am going to actually get a rolloff in spring to take care of it, someday…….. T is kinda the same way. I vacuum every week, do the dishes, clean my beloved toilet often. I am not gross per say, just never put stuff in its proper place.

+ I was married by Jesus. We planned to take a cruise to Cozumel and get married on a beach by a judge, the ship broke and we got married by a catholic deacon named Jesus. unfortunately Nebraska law would not honor it.
I am a reverend and so are my dogs.

+ I slept with teddy bears till I was 13. But in truth I never really stopped, just replaced the bear with a pillow. The movie poltergeist was awesome till I tried to sleep. It messed with my head soooooo much. I still need at least a sheet on me when I sleep, it keeps the ghosts from getting me. I cannot stand darkness. If I am in a dark hall or room I start to freak a bit, even in my own basement. Once again because of ghosts, but I do not believe they exist. Better safe than sorry. I sleep in my own bed and am totally glad that I do. Apparently I snore. Although I will invade the wifes bed so I can say I slept with 3 bitches last night 😉 (two female dogs and Theresa is a sweetheart, not a bitch, it is just funny to say)

+ I cry at emotional shows and movies like a little girl. Seriously, every Disney movie does it. Finding Nemo was so evil since there is a sad part right at the beginning. Theresa never cries at movies, it is so unfair. But it makes her love me even more.

some extra stuffis

– I care not a bit for televised sports. I have never watched a full game of football, baseball, golf, nascar, tennis, etc…… And I give not a flying crap who wins, it is so trivial. I do however like to see sports highlites, injuries, and am a sucker for X-game type stuff where peeps are risking their lives. I have gone to some sporting events though.

– I am perfectly happy being average. Sure I try to do good, but I have no thirst for being the best. kinda like when riding bikes with friends, I would rather be passed then hold someone up or push myself too hard to show off. you will prob never see me in an actual race.

– I know I try too hard to be funny sometimes. I hope some of ya find it entertaining though.

– I actually wanted to break a bone. Not that I wrecked on purpose, I just have always been so afraid that I would break something that I just wanted it to happen so it would be over with. And I gotta say it really was not that bad.

– I am never really down or depressed. Things always seem to work out for me. I am very realistic about stuff and can deal with issues. T and I have never really had a fight in ten years of being together. I almost feel guilty because I seem to be so lucky.

– I want to go out horrifically. Not self induced or taking any others with me. But, I would rather die in an accident that is so gory or ironic that it will be national news. plus I want to experience the intense pain of what kills me. kinda sick eh?

Well it looks like I getta call some peeps out. gee most of the bike peeps have been hit. So Sarah, Jschwa, and maybe a Lincolnite?
No need to embarrass yourselves like I tried to do. Follow the links backwards to see what others did.

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