I wrote this a few years ago, but it will still be revelant for eons…………

Remember while you are out being a rude husker fan, that you do not have a license to act like a complete idiot. Just because a bunch of mary’s in tights are performing some hot man on man action for you, does not excuse you from being civil to those who make their money off you. It is so funny that people who watch something so homoerotic, hate gays.

Yes I am a little bitter towards husker fans. I have a good reason though, I have worked all of my employed years, serving husker fucks. I love the ones that come to the “big city” and well just be rude. Now I know things are a little different in those small town bars, sure a dollar tip would be enough for a whole night of drinking, whistling at the barkeep to get another american light lager seems cute. Well guess what not in the bustling metropolis that is Lincoln.

1. you call me sandy one more time and your out of here. Used to work at Sandy’s.
2. I am sorry sir it seems like you have had too much already today, I can not let you in. Then the arguing that ensues until the cops come.
3. Do you have bud light on tap? The absolute dumbest question one could ever ask.
4. After waiting in line for your drink, not knowing what you want is a waste of my time and those around you.
5. sorry the blender is broken. I have no time to make a blended drink.
6. No you cannot take the cover off the pool table. Most fights start over pool games, all others are caused by husker fans. No frickin way are you going to play pool on a husker day.
7. you are over forty, stop dressing like a slut.
8. No you cannot bring your kids in, this is a bar packed full of drunk, balding, overweight, middle aged men. what kind of parent would want their child in a bar like that any way? Oh I for got you are a husker fan. Yet every time parents leave their kids to hang around in the streets of down town, while they get drunk.

Oh there are a few things that I like about husker game days:
1. Taking husker fuck’s money.
2. watching grown men cry.
3. watching drunken idiots go to detox.
4. it is cool to see a fight even if I have to stop it.
5. fucking with them, and believe me I do.
6. seeing husker whores show off their stuff.
7. making a lot of money.

I must say that this red and white game, as with the ones every year, will be much better for the people that serve the husker fucks than a real game.
You see this is the time that parents take their kids to the game.
The competition and rivalry are non existant.
The drunken idiots are sparse.
Just rember this is only a game, not a way of life.

This will be my first year not having to work a place during husker games, I can’t wait. I will probably hang around downtown and act like a complete ass just to blend in.

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