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May/08

23

waka waka waka waka waka . . . . . . . Pac Man movie a coming

Ars article

Despite Pac-Man’s rich history in both video games and television, this movie is going to be a complete re-imagining of the franchise. An insider has leaked the the plot outline of film to us: P’ak, a powerful warrior from a different reality, is banished to our version of Earth by a traitorous general bent on usurping the throne of P’ak’s world.

Stuck on our planet, P’ak ends up befriending quantum physicist Ernest and his young daughter, as well as developing a romantic entanglement with tribal tattoo artist Pepper. The three eventually help our hero return home, where he ends up saving the day and then bringing Pepper across the dimensional barrier to live happily ever after with him. Apparently, the P’ak is going to be a ripped guy for most of the movie, but his ceremonial armor will be a a close approximation to the round body we know from the video games; “it’ll look kind of like those aliens from the beginning of The Fifth Element.”

Wait… no, sorry, that wasn’t an insider leak; that was just a flashback I had to a bad acid trip.

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