Denied compassion

Here I lay, not uncomfortable yet, not comfortable. I dont really know what is going on. The hunger does not seem as bad today, must be the sugar water in that bag dripping. drip, drip, drip, why is that nurse messing with my bag? She says “how are you doing today?” I brew with anger thinking this probable lezbo liberal is having something to do with my health deteriorating. It is all part of their ag e n d a……. zzzzzz.


Wha, where.. why do I feel like I am in a pool of my own poo. Oh I am still in the hospital and yeah, that is poo. At least that dam lezbo will have to clean it. Fucking liberal. The hunger is building up. How long was I asleep? Why do my family not come and visit? Should I try to eat today, will it stay down this time, when will I get some strength back, what year is it???

The form comes closer, I try and focus to see who it is. “Billy is that you?” “Grandpa, it is me Larry. You remember my name dont you? I brought you some rice crispy squares we made.” Deep inside I struggle to figure out who he is. Oh yeah it is my grandson Billy, he is a complete loser. His parents should of given up on him when he got busted for having pot in his dorm room. He is going to be a looser all of his life, going to that liberal college. What he needed was structure and dicipline, something only a good stint in the military can provide. Yet, he is a dirty liberal communist, and refused to fight against the towel heads. I try and hear what he is saying but it all g o e s . ….zzzzzzz

Oh crap, in my own poo once again. Why are the doctors filling me up with these drugs? I cannot even keep my thoughts straight, keep track of time, remember… why am I so hungry? When is that nurse going to come in and wipe my ass? Oh look those crispy squares Billy left, man he made a bunch for me, I can’t eat all of those. I bite into them and notice a strange flavor, they taste good, I hope I can keep this down this time. Man that was pretty good.

The nurse comes in and asks how I am doing. My drippy bag is empty. She asks me again how I am doing. “actually Brenda? Thats your name isint it?” She says yes and looks suprised. ” I feel kind of good, the nausea seems to be going away, and the pain seems rather mellow.” She still looks suprised, and asks me if I need more pain medicine. I tell her “not right now, I am feeling rather good.” She smiles and moves on to another room. I notice she is rather pretty, and watch her firm ass bounce out of the room.

I notice that I can think a little clearer now. I have been in this bed for quite a while. The cancer is eating my body up, and the doc tells me he will make it as peaceful as he can. I realize that it will end soon, it does not sadden me, I led a good life, served my country with pride and my beautiful daughter and her son Larry turned out perty well. Oh look those treats Larry left for me. I think I will have another and watch some news. The hunger is a warm feeling, not the intense pain I am used to. I might even ask for a sandwich. I feel like I have been rather lost in my head lately, the past seems a little cloudy as of late. Must be the pain pills.

I feel a little liquipoo percolating after my nap. I buzz Brenda to help me get up and go to the bathroom. She comes in and looks really suprised that I ask her to help me visit the john. It was really hard to sit up and I realize it is going to be too hard. She encourages me and I do it. One or the best poo’s ever. Brenda does not show any flinching over the intense stench. It takes a good person to help others that are in the condition I am in. She bends over and I get a glimps of her breast. I tell her I would like a turkey sandwich and an apple for dinner. “no problem, would you like some medicine yet?” “nah Just another one of those squares for now.” Why am I feeling better, and what is that strange flavor in these treats? Who knows but I am running low on them. Larry better bring more. I watch Brenda’s ass go away down the hall. Wish my weiner still worked.

Larry stops by during my dinner. He looks shocked to see me. “grandpa you look good, did you like the squares?” I tell him about the movement earlier in the day, how my strength is gone, and the pain subsides every now and then. I am really enjoying the sandwich, it is hard to chew though. The teeth have been rather dormant for a while.

I can’t believe it. I am horrificaly outraged. I want to puke the shit out of me. Larry looks frightened, and tries to justify his actions. I scream at him and tell him to never come back. I toss the plate on the floor, the squares bounce under the bed. How could he do this to me? I am not a loser stoner, I am a good person not a druggie. I continue to fume until I fall asleep.

I awake with the pain severe. I buzz that lezbo Brenda, to come and clean up my shit. She deserves to touch shit, fucking liberal. “And while you are at it, give me the medicine.”

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