Totally useless perfect bacon sandwich formula/recipe

bacon sammie

Unless you own a bacon newtonmeter…

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N = C + {fb(cm) · fb(tc)} + fb(Ts) + fc · ta

Ideally, Danish Bacon said, 0.4 newtons should be applied to crunch the sandwich, creating 0.5 decibels of noise. The formula uses these values: N = force in newtons; fb is the function of the bacon type; fc is the function of the condiment or filling effect; Ts is the serving temperature; tc is cooking time; ta is the time taken to insert the condiment or filling; cm is the cooking method and C represents the breaking strain in newtons of uncooked bacon.

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